Ware Due Ai Beegin?

Soe mutch happund sints last taim. Deezul gotted verry sik and wented awae foar longtaim. Not soe bad akshully. Mr Clancy livv da good laif.

Rite aftr kittee comez bak, It finely happun. MAI CUZZINS GET HEER!!!!!!!!!!! Mai cuzzin Finlee, mai cuzzin Awneek...Ahnnn...leetle blak fuzzee goggee. Allsoe mai antee hav 3 kats. Mite az well bee 3 meelyon. Taek ovr hole plase. Kingz and kweenz uv all dey see. Dogz mutch bettr ennyhaow.

K thx bai.

Bad Kat

So Ai haz too goe outsaid foar a cupple dayz, nevur maind whie. Yes invawlvd Momma Mad Dollurz.

Ennyhoo, fainly git bak inn, and dum kat laik crazee, hisseeng and growleeng and attakkeeng. Chasez me all ovur, uh, Ai meanz Ai giv kat what-foar. Rawr.

Bee good goggy now, no moar poo...uh nevur maind whut noe moar uv. Good goggy, dat all dat matturz.

K thx bai.

Doun da Hach - Oopsee!

Yesturdee Ai wuz licken arownd - goggeez do dat, ya noe. Fownd broun streeng, licken it to. Licken and licken and licken, den OOPSEE doun a needull goez. Oar maybee nawt, harrd too sae.

So Ai wurreez. Noe vett heer, onlee kow vett. And Ai wurreez moar. Maybee Mr Clancy dai frum dum needull. Den theenk, yoo noe, all goggeez dai sumtaim. Mr Clancy nawt dai rait now, soe nawt probblum foar dis sekkund. Hay, its been reely warrm heer. Nais, verree nais.

Hoo wantz too rideeng baiks?

K thx bai.

Poar Goggy

Ai iz sik.

Erp.

Deer Cuzzin Finnly,

Inn ansur to yore kwestchun on yore Doggy Bloggy, da ansur iz Vary, Vary, Fasst.

Hoominz haz noe konsept uv deesint bathrumez foar wee doggyz. Not soe badd naow, vary badd inn wintur. Sumtaimz mainuss foartee oar moar. Whaite doggy goe laik blurr, owt and piddul, brake free frum small froazun stullak-tait, and bak inn laik blurr agin.

Noe noozpapur, not evun pamflit. Jus WHOOOOSH and gawn.

Mai advai...Mai rekummendz iz inn Noevemburr stop dreenkeen ENNY WAWTUR!! Dreenkeen agin inn Martch, maybee Ayprull. Beetweenz, not dreenkeen at awl. Eeteeng nawt soe good eethur.

Hoap dis helpeen,

Yore affekshunit cuzzin,

Clancy

Dae uv da Eevul Vakyoom

Wich dae cood dat bee, yoo mait ask? Afftr all, evry dae eevul foar vakyoomz. Thay are deevaisez of dahrknus and all kine bad stuf.

Furst sine uv immpendeeng dizzastur wuz powur on, off, on, off, on, off, til Mr Clancy becomez kwite uppset. Howse hav menny hi-picht sowndz ennywae, and on, off, on, off, on, off maeks sownd mutch werss.

Mom traiz too vakyoom, veree bad, and powur goez off. Hay not soe bad, powur off haz sum yoossez aftur all. Den mom goez awae too plae muzik foar skool. Wile stil gawn, powur come on, AND SOE DOO VAKYOOM!!! Eevul sownd goez on and on and on foarevvur. Maybee twenny minnits, maybee a hundridty milleeon.

I watchum in caes moovz, but how good it not mooven at all. Soe no need too goe throo windoe. Yets. Happee endz, mom git hoam and taek kuntrole uv eevul vakyoom, no moar gawn roag. No fureelants. Allz well endz well.

K thx bai.

Sik Dae

Bofe mai bruddurz staed hoam sik yesturdee. Leettle Brudder reed me mennee hoarur stoareez frum book, den we goe to sleeps.

Ai hav naitmaerz gittun poosht offen taybullz. Noe moar hoarur stoareez foar Mr Clancy.

K thx bai.